


Toasty

by weedsung



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, M/M, Short, a very serious debate about toast, bokuroo - Freeform, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weedsung/pseuds/weedsung
Summary: Bokuto: BREAD IS DIFFERENTKuroo: what the fuckoh my god u stupid fucking whoreBREAD. TURNS INTO TOAST. WHEN U TOAST IT. ANY SLICED SQUARED BREAD. CAN BE TOASTED.THAT IS NOT SQUARED AND THEREFOR NOT TOASTBokuto: .Kuroo: CAN YOU READ???
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 15
Kudos: 81





	Toasty

**Author's Note:**

> so basically me and my friend had a heavy debate over toast and its so stupid it fits bokuroo perfectly. enjoy. not proofread! since this is a mess anyways

Bokuto: we could also make stockbrot

Kuroo: what that

Bokuto: which i personally hate but it’s sort of a tradition  
basically whenever u make a campfire that just.. the thing u do? it’s like u make bread dough and u search for a stick and u roll it around the stick and roast it over a fire  
idk been doing that since i was a child

Kuroo: so its just toast  
?

Bokuto: well it’s BREAD  
not toast  
toast is different ....

Kuroo: but ur baking it over a fire???

Bokuto: but it’s not toast?? toast is when u toast white bread  
the square white bread

Kuroo: wh

Bokuto: that’s toast

Kuroo: u mean sliced bread?? it doesnt have to be white bread  
i prefer white bread but... any bread can be toasted

Bokuto: BUT ITS NOT TOAST JUST BC U TOAST IT  
ITS JUST CRUNCHY THEN ITS STILL BREAD  
ONLY WHITE SQUARE BREAD TOASTED IS TOAST

Kuroo: IT CAN BE ANY BREAD!!!!!!!!!!! I GET WYM IT NEEDS TO BE SLICED BUT IT CAN BE WHEAT BREAD WRY BREAD WHITE BREAD ETc

Bokuto: NO ???

Kuroo: r u fucking stupid

Bokuto: No you are

Kuroo: IF WHEAT BREAD IS TOASTED THEN ITS TOAST?? WE HAVE SQUARED WHEAT BREAD AND ALL OTHER KINDS U CAN TOAST R U OK

Bokuto: NO ITS NOT OMGNKDJFKD

Kuroo: WHY R U GATEKEEPING TOAST??  
IT JUST SAYS SLICED BREAD  
IT DOESNT SAY FUCJING WHITE BREAD

Bokuto: ITS WRONG  
TOAST IS TOAST

Kuroo: ITS MOST COMMON WITH WHITE BREAD OBVIOUSLY  
BUT IT CAN BE ANY OTHER BREAD

Bokuto: NO  
THATS JUST TOASTED BREAD  
BUT NOT TOAST

Kuroo: STOP GATE KEEPING TOAST???????  
WHAT THE FUCK

Bokuto: NO  
when you bake good bread you don’t need to toast it again

Kuroo: wh  
baking loafs of bread is completely different than different types of bread you toast  
in a toaster

Bokuto: BREAD IS BREAD

Kuroo: I UNDERSTAND WHAT UR SAYING BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT NEEDS TO BE SO SPECIFIC??? IF I TOAST WRY BREAD THEN I MADE SOME TOAST THATS MADE OUT OF WRY BREAD??

Bokuto: BECAUSE TOAST IS TO ME ONLY SLICED SQUARE BREAD  
SOFT BREAD

Kuroo: U MEAN WHITE BREAD  
TOAST TO ME IS ALSO SLICED SQUARE BREAD B  
BUT ANY BREAD

Bokuto: BREAD IS DIFFERENT

Kuroo: what the fuck  
oh my god u stupid fucking whore  
BREAD. TURNS INTO TOAST. WHEN U TOAST IT. ANY SLICED SQUARED BREAD. CAN BE TOASTED.  
THAT IS NOT SQUARED AND THEREFOR NOT TOAST

Bokuto: .

Kuroo: CAN YOU READ???

Bokuto: THERES OTHER SQUARE TOASTS THAT ARENT TOAST

Kuroo: HUH???  
toast is losing its meaning to me now  
ITS TOAST IF U TOAST IT  
WTF???

Bokuto: NO!!!!!

Kuroo: ITS CALLED TOASTING FOR A REASON TO TOAST

Bokuto: ITS NOT THE SAME

Kuroo: TO TURN INTO TOAST TO TOAST THINGS TO MAKE IT TOAST  
DOESNT MATTER UR PERSONALLY OPINION ITS JUST HOW IT IS????

Bokuto: NO BUT IT DOEANT QUALIFY  
ITS NOT THE RIGHT TOAST

Kuroo: YES IT DOES??

Bokuto: ITS NOT

Kuroo: TELL ME WHY OTHER THAN BC U DONT THINK IT IS  
GIVE ME VALID REASON

Bokuto: ITS COMMON SENSE I DONT NEED A REASON

Kuroo: UR DISQUALIFIED THEN???

Bokuto: ITS DIFFERENT TYPES OF BREAD  
JUST BC ITS SQUARE DOESNT MEAN IT CAN BE CALLED TOAST AFTER YOU TOAST IT

Kuroo: IM MAKING A TWITTER POLL  
THE PEOPLE WILL DESCIDE

Bokuto: ok imagine. the square white bread  
if it was suddenly baked  
round  
like in a round form  
it would STILL be toast if you toast it  
because that’s the type of bread that qualifies for toast!!  
so in fact it’s not about the form  
it’s about the type of BREAD  
that qualifies for either toast after toasting it or just toasted bread after toasting it

Kuroo: i disagree its literally any toasted bread  
thats what ive been SAYING

Bokuto: absolutely not

Kuroo: as long as its SLICED!!!

Bokuto: NO

Kuroo: THEN IF ITS TOASTED IT MAKES IT TOAST

Bokuto:NO  
SOME BREADS DONT QUALIFY FOR THE TOAST TITLE

Kuroo: SOME, OK, BUT U MEAN SOME ALSO DO OTHED THAN WHITE BREAD  
WHICH IS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOUVE BEEN ARGUING

Bokuto:SODJKDKDJDKDHXDP  
IDC IM STILL RIGHT AND ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG  
I CANT STAND FOR THIS

Kuroo: OIKAWA AGREES WITH ME  
SEE UR JUST WRONG

Bokuto: would you make toast hawaii just with ANY fucking bread? NO. it’s specific bread that qualifies for THE TITLE TOAST  
HES FUCKING STUPID IT DOESNT COUNT

Kuroo: getting too much fucking brain damage from this

Bokuto: I HATE ALL OF YOU  
YOURE ALL LIVING LIFE WRONG IN A LIE  
TOLD BY THE GOVERNMENT  
AND YOUUUU JUST GIVE INTO IT

Kuroo: YES BC I AGREE W WHAT IM SAYING RN

Bokuto: ITS BRAINWASHING

Kuroo: kENMA AND AKAASHI ALSO AGREE WITH ME

Bokuto: iYALL ARE LIVING LIES

Kuroo: I THINK UR THE LOSER HERE

Bokuto: YOU ARE BRAIN WASHED  
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RESPECT  
for the ART  
OF BREAD

Kuroo: IDC ITS TOAST ALL BREAD IS GOOD AND SOME IS TOAST

Bokuto: YES SOME OF IT. THE SOFT KIND.  
also is hinata on acid idk what his comment on twitter means

Kuroo: I WAS GONNA SEND A SCREENSHOT  
HSJSJDKFF  
yes idk

Bokuto: hold on lemme reread it

Kuroo: like that is not what we r debating  
HSJDJFKF

HINATA WE R DEBATING A DIFFERENT TOPIC

Bokuto: “without being toasted it’s just plain bread” thanks einstein we came to that conclusion

Kuroo: He would agree with me anyways

Bokuto: ur both wrong  
my conclusion: brain dead

Kuroo: ITS ANY BREAD SLICED THAT IS TOASTED  
WTF STOP GATEKEEPING THE WORD TOAST

Bokuto: Kageyama voted Baguette  
baguette  
BAGUETTE?  
BAGUETETTEETEYE  
THATS THE WORST  
TAHTS EVEN WORSE THAN EHAT YOU SAID  
BAGUETTE IS BAGIETTE  
WHO TF TOASTS BAGUETTE AND EVEN IF YOU DO ITS TOASTED BAGUETTE AND NOT FUCKING TOAST IM ACTUALLY CRYING  
OH MY GOD THE PAIN  
BAGUETETTETEEYEYE

Kuroo: YES THATS TOAST WHATS WRONG WITH YOU??? YOU PUT SOME JELLY AND BUTTER AND U GOT SUM TOAST?? THE BASE IS THE BAGUETTE

Bokuto: BAGUETTE IS THE LAST THING ID QUALIFY AS FUCKING TOAST  
THATS JUST FUCKING TOASTED BAGUETTE  
ITS NOT TOAST  
OH MY GOD THIS HURTS  
fucking baguette  
WHO RAISED THIS MAN

Kuroo: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT UR PROBLEM IS W ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHITE BREAD  
ITS WHITE BREAD

Bokuto: not all white bread can be toast

Kuroo: WTF?

Bokuto: THERES DIFFERENT TYPES OF WHITE BREAD

Kuroo: WHAT TH E FUUUUUUCI

Bokuto: FUCK OFF

Kuroo: THERES ONLY ONE KIND IF WHITE BREAD

Bokuto: Um  
NO?

Kuroo: WTF?  
WTF  
THERES DIFFERENT BRANDS BUT ITS ALL THE SAME WHITE BREAD?

Bokuto: NO???

Kuroo: YES LITERALLY?

Bokuto: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

Kuroo: ugh nvm brain damage

Bokuto: same omg

Kuroo: IM OVER THIS TOPIC  
moving on

**Author's Note:**

> there is something wrong with us


End file.
